Exploring unusual relationships: From lavender marriages to throuples

At Wine Chats, no topic is too weird, wild, or unusual, and this week, we’re diving into some of the most surprising unusual relationships we’ve come across. From a gay man married to a straight woman (yes, really), to old Hollywood-style lavender marriages, we unpack the layers behind unconventional love and what it means for modern relationships.

But first... a quick sip.

We kicked off the episode with a delicious glass of 2024 Brinktop Pinot Noir from Tasmania’s Coal River Valley, courtesy of our fabulous sponsor, Budburst Wine Collective. While wine is always welcome here, it’s the chat that keeps things flowing - and this week’s conversation did not disappoint.

A gay man, a straight woman... and a happy marriage?

We couldn’t believe it either. The first story we explored involved a man who openly identifies as gay, a woman who is straight—and a marriage that includes sex, connection, and a very open understanding.

Not only are they happily married, they’re sexually satisfied, too. They also have an open relationship, which lets them explore their sexualities beyond each other, but they maintain that their love is real and deep. Their souls connect.

So... is this a true gay-straight marriage? Or is one of them actually bisexual? Does it even matter?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdRSyNIJJc8

We were so thrown by the twist. What started as an assumption about companionship quickly became a full-blown debate on labels, attraction, and whether this kind of setup is sustainable. (Spoiler: we’re not judging - we’re just curious and confused!)

Unusual relationships: What is a lavender marriage?

Next, we dove into the world of lavender marriages - a term used to describe relationships where one or both partners are hiding their sexuality, often for cultural or career reasons. Think: Hollywood stars marrying the opposite sex to appear “straight” to the public.

We talked about the long-standing rumors around actors like John Travolta and the idea that some marriages are more about public image than private connection.

It opened up a broader conversation about the pressure society puts on people to fit into certain moulds, and how some people find ways to exist within those moulds, even if it means bending the truth.

Is it really that unusual?

By the end of the episode, we found ourselves asking: what really defines a relationship, anyway? If two people are happy, regardless of how they identify or what society expects of them, does it matter if their relationship fits the “norm”?

For some, companionship and emotional intimacy are more important than traditional definitions of sexuality or monogamy. For others, breaking away from convention is the only way to feel truly seen.

"Genuinely asking. We literally are not judging these situations."

And honestly? We’re here for it.

Throuples, pegging and modern relationship boundaries

On Wednesday, things took a sharp left turn - into the wild world of throuples, pegging, and every unexpected relationship twist in between.

What started as a casual scroll on social media turned into a full-blown discussion about unconventional relationships. Billi and Lyndsey ask the important questions: Can a throuple actually work? How do you pick an anniversary date when there are three people in the mix? And what even is pegging… and would we do it?

From relationship power dynamics and emotional logistics to the tech-driven world of teledildonics (yep, that’s a thing), we explore just how complicated — and sometimes hilarious — modern love can be.

This episode is raw, ridiculous, and totally relatable in all the wrong (and right) ways. Grab a glass of wine and come along for the ride. See you then!

B&L x