What Women Do When They Are Alone
Alone time is like a warm, sweet, buttery pastry on a cold morning. With coffee.
It’s like the fluffy clouds in a blue sky, like a cold beer on a hot day.
Ahhh alone time…
Alone time is gold.
What I do when I’m alone.
Never have I ever…
Never have I ever enjoyed spending time on my own before I had kids.
In fact, I used to be a stage five clinger, I would hate it when the Husband would want to do an activity without me – like fishing.
I know what you’re all thinking, and no, I couldn’t go with him despite being invited, because fishing is boring.
Ahh alone time…. my precious alone time.
Nowadays, I don’t ask for Mother’s Day gifts, I don’t ask for anniversary presents – I ask for ALONE TIME!
Swinging into freedom!
And that’s exactly what I asked for for my 33rd birthday!
Yes, selfish as it may be, this year, I spent an entire weekend kid-free in a nice house by the water.
Frankly, it didn’t even need to be a nice house, I would have happily sat in a caravan for two days, in peace and quiet. I just happen to have access to some nice diggs.
So what did I do?
Obviously, that was a joke.
This isn’t called “What Men Do When They Are Alone”.
We all know that would be a short post consisting of porn and beer.
I, on the other hand, couldn’t even spell masturbate. I had to Google it.
So, no. I did none of that. It was my weekend, not Dragana’s.
The first thing I actually did was absolutely nothing!
Yep, that’s right! I did fuck all! I didn’t clean, I didn’t do any laundry, I didn’t even cook!
I bought cheese and prosciutto and crunchy bread and dip and I fucking ate like I was on a picnic for two days. It was AMAZING!
All the proteins and vitamins I need for a weekend alone.
Which brings us to our next point.
Chocolate and Chips and Vodka, Oh My!
I ate shit.
That came out wrong.
You know what I mean.
I ate all the naughty food that children are not supposed to eat. And I ate it out in the open!
The vodka was for a bit of Dutch courage.
It was just so nice not getting assaulted by tiny tots; I could eat slowly and then put the food right next to me on the couch. And then remember there’s food right next to me on the couch and eat some more of it.
Just to be clear, the vodka wasn’t just sitting there on the couch next to me. The vodka was for a bit of Dutch courage.
I mean, honestly, when else am I able to take some photos of myself, to later be strategically cropped and filtered, without wrangling children?
Never. The answer is never.
Meditative Still Waters
It was FABULOUS!
Meditative TV watching.
Straight. Up. Heaven.
12 Hours in Paradise
And the best way I spent my alone time – I slept.
That’s right, I caught up on 2 years worth of lost sleep and on my first night alone, I slept for 12 hours.
I slept so long, I got a headache. A very fulfilling, foggy headache that I promptly got rid of with some medication and TV meditation.
To say it was dreamy would be an understatement.
Missing My Pumpkins
And after all that and a beautiful weekend all to myself – I couldn’t help but wonder what my daughters were doing and if they were missing me.
Suddenly, come Sunday, I’m in a rush to pack up and get home so I can snuggle with the annoying little rats and see what they had been up to while mummy was sleeping and eating copious amounts of chocolate in peace.
My precious, annoying, delightful children.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, two hours after getting home I was already fed up but I wouldn’t appreciate my alone time one iota if it wasn’t for my noisy, giggly, busy household.
So, let’s talk – what do you do in your alone time?
Thanks for stopping by, hug your children a little tighter, and remember – don’t be a dick!